Amnesia

I believe that in life, there is a never-ending journey of self-discovery.

Since I’ve been away from my hometown, GenSan, all I’ve been having is something you might call a bummer summer.

All I’ve been doing is eat, sleep, and watch various TV series and movies. The only time when I’m actually productive is when I exercise and practice my bass.

I call this hibernation mode. Indeed, it is all sorts of boring but the best part about it is I can think.

I’ve been looking a lot at my life lately — whether it may be in the past, present, or future — and right now, I am unsure.

I don’t know what to do.

Usually I have a plan but this time I don’t. Once again, I’ve found my most redeeming trait: spontaneity.

I just think: “Whatever happens, happens. It’s just a matter of finding the right perspective. I’ll just go at it head on and let the chips fall where they may. Live life with no regrets and charge it all on experience.”

A part of me is scared and nervous, a part of me is excited, and just a whole lot of me is terribly confused.

I don’t know what to expect as I enter college but all He told me is that it will be brutal. I don’t have friends to find comfort from and now I’m not even sure if I chose the right course.

It’s not just about college. It’s who I am, as a person.

In the midst of the stress of senior year, I’ve lost myself in the process and my “auto-pilot” is to adapt to the environment and act from there.

But now, with no environment to adapt to, I’m a blank sheet of paper trying to find the words to discover me.

I thought the time of self-discovery in high school is over but now I find myself back on square one.

Hi.

It’s been a long time since I wrote in this blog.


Reasons could be busy days, lazy days, or days where I just didn’t feel like writing at all. Part of me feels paranoid of the scrutiny I might get in every post I make while part of me just got tired.

I didn’t even write anything about graduation, Hiyas Night, NSPC ‘13 and my journey as a fresh high school grad. Nevertheless, those gems are committed to memory even though I don’t trust my memory as much.

But a lot of who I am now came from my experiences and these experiences will continue to guide me in my future so I probably won’t forget them at all.

In all honesty, I don’t even know what to say at this post. I guess a part of me is complete now that high school is over and a part of me is missing as a new journey in college begins.

I guess all I wanted to say here is Hi. I might be back but who knows, right?

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