The word came out as a whisper. Half-demand, half-plea. Was this considered begging? He didn’t know. Quite frankly, he couldn’t care less.

His fingers were on her wrist, resting on the pulse point that throbbed faster as the seconds ticked by. Her steady sapphire gaze was set on his, unwavering, defiant, yet slightly pained for those who knew where to look.

She took a breath. He took note of the slight shake of her chest at the action. She was biting her lip, holding the words from flooding out like a torrent in her mouth. Words that would make it harder for her to leave. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowing as she looked for the right thing to say. She kept his gaze on his. She did not look down as she said, “No.”

Sherlock Holmes let go her hand. He stood up straight and crossed his hands behind his back. The Woman was leaving. It was only right. Nothing lasts forever. This was for what’s best.

Or at least that’s what he forced himself to believe.

They cannot burn as bright and steady as the sun. They were dynamite. Explosive yet fleeting.

And as she stepped further away, he felt like he was one of the debris: smoking, strewn, and shattered at her wake.

funny how before ASiB, I didn’t even know a place called Islamabad existed

reading a book and the corners of your mouth turn up into a ridiculously goofy grin just because the book’s so good

sometimes what your heart tells you is the stupidest thing you could ever do

Of Cigarettes and Regret

"If you haven’t tried it, don’t start it." — Atom Araullo

That was one of the most notable pieces of advice I’ve gotten from our celebrity guest in last night’s event. Towards the end of UPLift 2014, we’ve somehow managed to discuss the topic of smoking. He told us that most of the people he has known to smoke always regretted it and can barely manage to stop. “This is probably the biggest advice I can give you,” he added. We were much better off clueless than regretful.

That got me thinking.

I’ve always been the carpe diem sort. When I feel like doing something, I just do it. No hesitation. No doubts. Just do it. No matter how stupid it may be. Whether it may be planking on the table while watching TV or putting rum in my coffee (it tastes horrible, by the way), I will do it.

I do all of these spontaneous stuff because I hate the idea of WHAT IF. Out of all the emotions in the world, I loathe regret. I don’t do regrets. I’ve always thought that doing something, anything at all, is a thousand times better than not trying at all.

But what if doing nothing can save us from even more regret?

This doesn’t just apply to smoking. This applies to things like drinking, drugs, being in a relationship, and sex among many others. The world will tell us to ‘just do it’. The world will pressure us into doing those things because it’s cool, it’s what’s expected of you, and it’s what everybody does anyway. YOLO, dude!

But as much as we hate to agree, it’s wiser to think before you act.

Sure, you gain “friends”, bragging rights, and experience points because you think life is as petty as a RPG. But out of experience, it’s better to remain ignorant of these things than to try them and have the ghost of temptation haunt you every single day.

Atom’s right.
Once you start, it’s hard to stop.

It’s like having a demon perch on your shoulder everyday, taunting you to do those things. Once you end up doing them, you end up with a big load of regret and an even bigger load of self-loathing.


I’ve always thought that the idea of “pure and holy” is boring but now, it seems like heaven. Ignorance is bliss. No wonder He wants us to be “pure and holy” because being denied by the world is so much better than being accepted by the world and regretting every single day of it.

But what if you’ve done those things already?
What hope is left for the likes of us?

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come!" — 2 Corinthians 5:17

"…though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow…" — Isaiah 1:18

Whatever penance you think you ought to do to pay for all the stupidity you’ve been doing, He has already done. The reason why Jesus came and got Himself crucified is to atone for our sins with His blood as sacrifice. If we could do it on our own, then why would He have come in the first place? Knowing that our righteousness is not based on our own efforts but on the finished work of Christ sets us free.

There is hope.

We can be renewed. We just have to accept what He has done. It’s not about counting the right things you’ve done to account for your wrongs. It’s about admitting that we can’t do it on our own and humbling yourself enough to let go. Let go and let God change you.

It’s hard for us to surrender control. But know this:

It is only when we surrender ourselves fully to His love that we can be victorious.

This is not some religious propaganda. This is not me imposing my belief. This is hope.

Hope for something new.
Hope for something better.
Hope for change.

You’re not alone. You’ve never been alone. Just know that no matter who you are or what you’ve done, you are loved. And it is that same love that will save you.

It is that same love that will transform you.

We so FRESH! New friends, much fun awaits. 😄
#UPLift2014 #AngatTayoUP @lifeboxupd

We so FRESH! New friends, much fun awaits. 😄
#UPLift2014 #AngatTayoUP @lifeboxupd

I cannot sustain productivity.
Hard work only comes in short bursts of energy like lightning bolts in a thunderstorm of deadlines and overlapping appointments.

I just broke a mirror

This usually means seven years of bad luck.

It’s a good thing I don’t believe in superstition
Because from the moment the weight hit the glass and the glass flew in shards from the floor

All I hear is music

And songs and words and unspoken wisdom
In reflections on fragments
In the gentle sweep of a broom
In featherlight touches
In tiptoed steps

The floor broke the glass
The shards broke the mask

I am free

All I can think of is
I am free

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Themed by: Hunson